just thoughts

well.... this week has been... how shall i say it...

tiring?...exciting?hectic?

i dun noe how to describe it but its a compilation of all the above description...

anyway starting working at kak leha's office...

helping in data entry of accounts and creating payment and repairing whatever mistakes...

it was ok...

not that hard...

but all the numbers and addresses, invoices and whatnots can be very confusing...

this week...have been going to work with kak leha...

naik kereta so i was always early for work...

but wen its time to go home....thats where i get really pissed off...

so many people!! and i waited for an HOUR for 518!...

wen the bus datang.. penuh like hell...

so now wen i go home i dun bother to wait...

jus take the mrt...

itupun sesak jugak but atleast i get home faster...

one thing i realised is that working life is boring and scary...

boring in a way that you have to do the work

no excuses can be given unlike school...

and going to office everyday jus seem so lifeless unlike school...

just cannot pin point the diff but somehow you will feel the change...

its scary cos well wen you make mistakes.. its not like in school where the teachers say its alright and its a learning process...

you can always try again next time...

but at work... wen you do wrong... you feel guilty

and wen you do wrong at work it may affect others alot

and its no longer jus a learning process...

hahhaha...gosh i have only started a few days n there is so much i have realised and learned...

on the other hand.. the money that comes after all this is worth the pain....

school is starting soon and its really weird not going to school or buying sch stuffs..

i guess there is no longer anything concrete to hold onto...

unlike years ago where you know end of dec its time to go back to school and the normal routine...

but its not like that anymore...

life changes is a pain but what the heck...we all need it..

cos if there is no changes..there is no life....

GIRLS OUTING 22 Dec 2007

Budak - budak takde keje..hahaha

Atika, effa, dilah, fiz

Aidil Adha 2007

Selamat Hari Aidil Adha!

its has been awhile since we took photos...

so..it seems an appropriate ocassion for some camwhoring...

some people were misssing from the pics tho.....

They do wonders......

Boys to men.... Men to boys..

Kumpulan tua kutuk..hahahhaha

Angels....

Mummy and naqibah

the cousins...

kumpulan panca si dara tua....

the old gals...A tribute to our dearest auntie...Mummy Zenut Nesa

;)

there is only one sentence to describe yesterday..............

A FUN, RELAXING AND SECRETS REVEALING DAY!

hahahaha...dilah should know...

I.T shoppin

My new digital organiser

Kakak's new phone

today me and sis went IT shopping...




sis bought a new cool phone. KU990...




and for my birthday she bought me a digital organizer...




initially i had wanted a new phone but then if the features are still the same as my old phone...might as well i get the organizer...

Im really glad we talked it out and that we are cool now...

but i do apologise once again for making you feel dat way...

Happy birthday to me

today..im officially 18...

gosh... im all grown up...

important decisions to be made by myself...

taking responsibility for all my decisions and doings...

life is going to get complicated

but that is not going to stop me from living my life...

to those who have wished me...thank you very much!



to you who matters.... talk it out...dun keep me in suspense...

welcome home

sis just got back from phuket dis evening...

she kind of look good...must be the tan...hahah

oh and she got kind me dis watch cum bracelet which i so so so LOVE!!!!

hahahah..yeah finally got this kind of bracelet......

fuh...excited nk pakai...hahahah

bhaiyya ki shaadi

The newly weds

30 Nov 2007 --> Nikah

02 Dec 2007 -- Sanding

the bride, my sis in law.... the groom, my bro all ready to go pick up the bride...

wen its all over we smile!...hes a married man!

tengah stress nak nikah...hahahahah

The cake..yummy....

The things that were to be brought to the girl's side

Abg getting ready for the nikah...

these are some of the pics...

will update again as soon as i get hold of them...

and i still haven get the prom pics...

ahahah...so later will do it once i get it...

anyway..sis is off to phuket for a few days...

bro jus left for honeymoon yesterday to krabi...

so im the only child for now...

ahahah

kind of boring cos no one to argue or kid around with...

worse of all.... have to do the household chores myself.... haiya...

IT HAS ENDED!!!

YAY!!! Now i can really enjoy myself....
so many things to do.. so little time!!
i wanna watch lots of movies!! so many of them...
and i still haven got anything to wear for prom...
wat a headache...

and fats gone for a few days...
she will obviously enjoy herself...
so cool to go there...
wish i could go too...hahahaha

i dun want it to change....

one more paper to the end of 'A' Levels!

WOHOO!!!

approx 9 days to abang's wedding....

I miss us...

split second

every morning.... when you wake up.. there is this split second where everything seems normal..
then reality starts to sink it..
even though its jus for a split second...it feels so real..
it act as a booster to get out of the bed and carry on with our daily life..

yet this morning i chose to stay in bed...
thinking.....
thinking whether wateva i haf done is enough or maybe i could do more but jus couldnt find the strength to do so....
nevertheless, i know i have given my best shot and wats to come will come...
theres nothing i can do to stop it....

so the next time wen you wake up...
do enjoy that split second where everything seems normal....

life? not ready....

Life is full of uncertainties..

its was so much easier in the past...

from pri to sec then either go poly or jc...

after that... is where reality starts to set in...

a levels is ending soon and yet i really wish i could start all over again...

i dun tink i am ready to face the challenges of the real world...

im scared, worried that i may not have a place in this world...

i dunno wat to do wif my life...

im not sure that i can get the results i hoped for..

its jus too painful to fail..

yet again it might jus be the thing to encourage me or on a darker side...discourage me..

i really dun want to grow up...

why cant we stay the way we are...

i dun tink im ready...

dunno why but recently i have felt more alone than ever..

there are people around me but they dun seem to notice me...

not that im craving the attention...

but the feelings of being somebody's friend is diminishing..

probably its jus a very stressing period and im way overreacting...

but who knows...

i really wish that i can talk to someone and help me through this...

but i believe people are all busy with their own probs...

besides this might jus be a phase in life then probably only me can go through it and survive...

im trying not too tink so much and jus go wif the flow.. but its easier said than done..

i dun want to disappoint mum...

for now.. i tink i should jus enjoy the wonders of life that it brings along besides the pain...

come nov 22.......

'A' Levels is ending in a few weeks time...cant believe but am glad dat its ending...
im not so confident regarding the results tho...
its kind of sad that after almost 12 years of education, it may not end well...
but i only have myself to blame and no one else..
but again, its too late to do anything more...
i did what i could and leave the rest to fate...

So.... when nov 22 comes i am so going to enjoy myself!
watch movies, spend my time on the computer....
go shopping and prepare for bro's wedding..
man..im so EXCITED!
hahaha...
but mum wants me to find work and i have no idea what to do...
shitlah... y must i work?? hahaha...
List of things to do: (rough guide)
1) Watch lots of movies
2) Stay up late
3) Rent vcds
4) Shopping for prom
5)Kemas bilik and boxes and all other stuff
6) Find work... haiyo...............

Meantime, still need to study...its not over yet..................

SAD

i feel so stupid...
so many careless mistakes and wrong answers
wat the heck was i thinking??
why cant i be smart!
its so frustrating...
STUPID CHEM PAPER!!
argh!!
i am really really sad.......... ;(

?

Its been awhile since i blog because i did not have pressurizing issue to be let out...
but the pressure on me is tremendous.
i feel so exhausted yet i have to kee on going.
prelims is here and the few papers i have taken has but encouraged and show me that i am ready for the a levels..
i am so worried and worked up..
its not that i do not pt in effort..
i do i really do but somehow during the exams i am just stunned and cant seem to operate my mind well.
if this goes on, i do not how i am goin to handle my a levels....
i dont wat to be like those people who cry when they get their exams results..
i want to atleast be contented that i get to apply for the universities that i want and do the course i prefer...
but the thought of university now just seem so distant and out of reach..
i have never fell so helpless and stupid
and disappointed with myself.
the worse is my parents disappointment...

but whatever it is..
i chose this step..
like it or not..
i have to complete the journey no matter what the outcome is...........

the week

its has been quite a week...
had this netball inter house tournament..
it was a very quick kind of competition where if we lose we are out...
so the first time that we played, tot we were going to lose..
BUT... amazingly we won...and continue to win
BUT again we lose one match and clinched the fourth place..
even though we didnt get anyting..it was a proud moment as we had no practice whatsoever...
jus a few shooting practices and passes.. like 2 hours before the thing started..
so yea.. we are good...hahhaha

and last night went to dancefest..
it was amazing and so cool..
i love to see people dance...
the winners deserve the praise and commendation...
really enjoyed myself..
at the end... had this dance on stage where its like clubbing..
but it was stupid cos people jus got on stage and talk or take pictures..
and also there were dancing but breakdance and only 1 person were doin it and the others watching it...
so yeah it was quite a night...

and gosh we are stepping down soon!
need to get the monatge ready which i am not too sure what to do....
haiz...

*peace out*

HARRY POTTER!

HARRY POTTER, HARRY POTTER.....OOOH!
HARRY POTTER, HARRY POTTER.....YEAH!

hahahaha.. yeah watched harry potter..
quite nice and am so gald that i saw it..
but quite sad that the scene where sirius died is rather short and insignificant...
it was so sudden...
the part where harry showed him sadness was kinda muted and fast too...
what the heck...its supposed to be the saddest part of the whole story..
yet, i do not feel the tug of string in my heart..hahaha

anyway... kudos to the director and the cast and crew of Harry Potter cos it was nice...
in my opinion la...
hahha
Harry ROCKS!

once again........

HARRY POTTER, HARRY POTTER.....OOOH!
HARRY POTTER, HARRY POTTER.....YEAH!
:)

mixed emotions

sad......
angry.......
dissapointed........
irritated........
stupid........

i hate myself...

No Sacrifice.......No Victory!

ok... its official..
i have officially screwed up my mid years..
its so bad that my bio teacher has to come up to me and asked whether i study or not..
i am so bloody screwed...

if i want to succeed in my 'a' levels, i seriouslyhave to start now...
and i have to stop watching youtubes and all the other craps...
becos as captain witwicky has said: No Sacrifice.....No Victory!
so like it or not, i have to buck up and start mugging!

on a lighter note,...
TRANSFORMERS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel like watching it again!!
but then again i can only do it when the ordeal is over...
oh...
and harry potter song is damn cute...
i have come up with a song for transformers too!
wahahhahaha..
but im kinda tone deaf so...it probably sucks...

lastly i am so tired.....
ahahhaha...

*peace out*

Ch-ch-changes

seconds had turned into minutes...
minutes turned into hours...
hours turn into days ...
and days turn into weeks..
finally...weeks turn into months..

BUT one thing hasnt change...
i still dont update that regularly...hah..
anyway..lots have things have happened..
like my recently screwed up mid year exam...
i shall not elaborate..
its just too painful...
hah...

so yeah...and i hope that i can change...
cos...
NOW IS THE TIME TO CHANGE...
before its too late...

****

STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT!
IM F***ING TIRED AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS MAKE WORSE
SOMETIMES YOU SAY THINGS LIKE YOU ARE A REAL F***ING BOSS
SO DO ONE THING FOR ME NOW...

F*** OFF

life = bitch?

life can be a bitch...
when you are feeling good..it will throw in something to dampen your spirit..
when you are feeling down..it will throw in something to boost your spirit

because of you, i have to be the good one..
to be on her good side so as not to upset her further
when she is stress about you, the rest of us gets her anger too
sometime i feel like im not 17...
i am suppose to be the teenage... rebelling against parents becos that is the phase of life..
but no..u are the one rebelling and i have to be the one correcting your mistakes
i cant even enjoy a good day out wif my frens for fear that she will be upset
i always have to think about you and her before i can do anything
i want to go out too
i want to spand my time with my frens
i want to go out somewhere far and be home late

but the truth is i am scared..
scared that i will disappoint her like you did
i dont want her to treat me like the way she did u...
thats why i never treat her the way you did

sometimes i wonder whether whatever you are doing is on purpose
to test the limit of her patience
i dont know...

im tired...very very tired...of the shit that is going on..
i jus wish things will go back to normal

HEYY!!

HELO HELO HELO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its been a damn long time
been busy with sch...
tmr will be I.U nite
hope everything runs smoothly and the decor oso should be ok
and june camp coming up
damn excited to plan ah...
WHEEEEEE!!!!
hahahah

over....

ok...blogger is making my life miserable...
cant seem to upload pics...
anyway gemilang is finally OVER!
and although i didnt win anything, it has been a great experience for me...

and thanks to fiz, aruna, fatimah, kenneth and the 06s06 people for coming to support me...
so sorry that i lost...

thanks people..

zest for life.................

jus finished doing econs fac test..
there is a 99.9% of failing...
wait a min....
i tink its 100%!
cos i never pass my econs
sometimes i kinda regret taking econs...
i simply cant get the concept....
unlike everyone else in the class..
there is definitely something wrong wif me...

studies aside...i SOOOOO want to meet syaza, mary and celeste to play netball!!!!
it was suppose to be this sat bt i gt CCA..
dammit it...
i really2 want to go...
i never felt the urge to do something so much....
this is the only thing that is keeping the zest for life in me...

sometimes i feel that all my energy is drained out from me...
i feel so tired that i want to sleep and never wake up...
bt i haf to...

ok...must study chem now...
mug...mug...mug....

my thoughts

ok..its been awhile ever since i wrote anything..
nothing new though...
im forever lagging wen it comes to blogging..

anyway..recently i read this special edition of newsweek about the american soldiers that died in Iraq..
not that i am very supportive of the thing that is going on in Iraq right now..
but i cant help feeling a sense of loss for the families of those who were sacrificed..
as u read their diaries and entries.. u will realise that they are getting sick of the war too...
all they want is to come home and live with their families...

for some, they died a day before they were scheduled to leave Iraq..
there are others who died without seeing their children who were just born...
come to think of it..i dont know how the families of those sacrificed ever gather the courage to face with such dampen thoughts..
and what about those who were killed...
what was the last thing that went through their minds...
how does it feel to know that at any time...things can happen and u may just lose ur life...

like one of them had said.."Anytime i am here is the day i die"

ok...enought with these serious stuffs...
oh i gt into the finals of the hosting competition which i am clearly amazed..
cos i swear i screwed up...
well...wat the hell...
since im in..might as well give my best shot...

*peace out*

4e3 gathering

there is only one word to describe yesterday

AMAZING!!

thanks guys for all the fun, laughter and joy we had yesterday..

we so should do this more often.