Ch-ch-changes

seconds had turned into minutes...
minutes turned into hours...
hours turn into days ...
and days turn into weeks..
finally...weeks turn into months..

BUT one thing hasnt change...
i still dont update that regularly...hah..
anyway..lots have things have happened..
like my recently screwed up mid year exam...
i shall not elaborate..
its just too painful...
hah...

so yeah...and i hope that i can change...
cos...
NOW IS THE TIME TO CHANGE...
before its too late...

****

STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT!
IM F***ING TIRED AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS MAKE WORSE
SOMETIMES YOU SAY THINGS LIKE YOU ARE A REAL F***ING BOSS
SO DO ONE THING FOR ME NOW...

F*** OFF

life = bitch?

life can be a bitch...
when you are feeling good..it will throw in something to dampen your spirit..
when you are feeling down..it will throw in something to boost your spirit

because of you, i have to be the good one..
to be on her good side so as not to upset her further
when she is stress about you, the rest of us gets her anger too
sometime i feel like im not 17...
i am suppose to be the teenage... rebelling against parents becos that is the phase of life..
but no..u are the one rebelling and i have to be the one correcting your mistakes
i cant even enjoy a good day out wif my frens for fear that she will be upset
i always have to think about you and her before i can do anything
i want to go out too
i want to spand my time with my frens
i want to go out somewhere far and be home late

but the truth is i am scared..
scared that i will disappoint her like you did
i dont want her to treat me like the way she did u...
thats why i never treat her the way you did

sometimes i wonder whether whatever you are doing is on purpose
to test the limit of her patience
i dont know...

im tired...very very tired...of the shit that is going on..
i jus wish things will go back to normal

HEYY!!

HELO HELO HELO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its been a damn long time
been busy with sch...
tmr will be I.U nite
hope everything runs smoothly and the decor oso should be ok
and june camp coming up
damn excited to plan ah...
WHEEEEEE!!!!
hahahah

over....

ok...blogger is making my life miserable...
cant seem to upload pics...
anyway gemilang is finally OVER!
and although i didnt win anything, it has been a great experience for me...

and thanks to fiz, aruna, fatimah, kenneth and the 06s06 people for coming to support me...
so sorry that i lost...

thanks people..

zest for life.................

jus finished doing econs fac test..
there is a 99.9% of failing...
wait a min....
i tink its 100%!
cos i never pass my econs
sometimes i kinda regret taking econs...
i simply cant get the concept....
unlike everyone else in the class..
there is definitely something wrong wif me...

studies aside...i SOOOOO want to meet syaza, mary and celeste to play netball!!!!
it was suppose to be this sat bt i gt CCA..
dammit it...
i really2 want to go...
i never felt the urge to do something so much....
this is the only thing that is keeping the zest for life in me...

sometimes i feel that all my energy is drained out from me...
i feel so tired that i want to sleep and never wake up...
bt i haf to...

ok...must study chem now...
mug...mug...mug....

my thoughts

ok..its been awhile ever since i wrote anything..
nothing new though...
im forever lagging wen it comes to blogging..

anyway..recently i read this special edition of newsweek about the american soldiers that died in Iraq..
not that i am very supportive of the thing that is going on in Iraq right now..
but i cant help feeling a sense of loss for the families of those who were sacrificed..
as u read their diaries and entries.. u will realise that they are getting sick of the war too...
all they want is to come home and live with their families...

for some, they died a day before they were scheduled to leave Iraq..
there are others who died without seeing their children who were just born...
come to think of it..i dont know how the families of those sacrificed ever gather the courage to face with such dampen thoughts..
and what about those who were killed...
what was the last thing that went through their minds...
how does it feel to know that at any time...things can happen and u may just lose ur life...

like one of them had said.."Anytime i am here is the day i die"

ok...enought with these serious stuffs...
oh i gt into the finals of the hosting competition which i am clearly amazed..
cos i swear i screwed up...
well...wat the hell...
since im in..might as well give my best shot...

*peace out*

4e3 gathering

there is only one word to describe yesterday

AMAZING!!

thanks guys for all the fun, laughter and joy we had yesterday..

we so should do this more often.

helo...im finally blogging

its been a long long long time since i updated..

not that nothing exciting has been going on..its just due to pure laziness..

so here i am...blogging even though i have chem spa tomorrow...

oh well...a little bit of time taken to chill will not hurt...would it?

anyway.. interact club had their orientaton and i am soooo..glad that it turn out way better than the previous orientation..

in fact i felt my spirits lifted up when i saw the j1s coming in..

unfortunately...it was short - lived....

due to unforseen circumstances... it felt that maybe just maybe i could have done better..

due to some bitchings...it made me feel quite disappointed...

but what the heck...i dun not look up to you...

so if the people i need to look up to say it was ok then i shall believe that it was ok too...

just so you know...your glory days are over..

get the hell out and stop pretending that u are what you are.. cos well...

cos u suck!

man..that felt better..

talking about this just make my head hurts... so yeah lets forget about this..

and to fizah...wahahahah..relek ah..all those things i said is just a joke ok!

and i will still love you no matter what...hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah..

man i just cannot forget how u look at Ljs today...ahhahahahahahahahahaha...

ok..ok...relek..promise i wont laugh anymore k..

*peace out*

whats wrong with u?

i seriously have no idea what is going on her head...
shes been showing so much of angst and attitude..
so cold towards all those around her..
nowadays i cant seem to get thru to her.
its like shes pulling away from us..
every little bit upsets her and make her mad..

even dad who is such a sweet old guy could not stand her..
i have never seen dad like that
no matter how difficult it was to get thru her, dad is always the cool and less emo type.
but now..
it seems that even dad is fed up..
no wait...everybody is fed up

i dont know what to say or do anymore..
is this how it is going to be forever?
because of one stupid mistake..
i guess its true..
you can never run away from the past...

*peace out

who you are...

Extracted from somewhere:

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at the crossroads.

Afraid.

Confused.

Without a road map, the choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days.

Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back.

But once in a while, people push on to something better.

Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone.

And just beyond the bravery and courage, it takes to let someone in.

Or to give someone a second chance.

Something beyond the quite persistence of a dream

Because it's only when you're tested, that you truly discover who you are.

And it's only when you're tested, that you discover who you can be.

such amazing words....

*peace out*

haiz....

sometimes.. i just dont get her..
without any rhyme or reason.. she would flare up..
i dont even noe where my fault lies..
thats is why whenever she acts up.. i will just ignore her..
it hurts alot but i rather keep quite than say things which will hurt her..

as if i have nothing else on my mind..
i am already very worried about my studies...
i am basically screwing up and this year im taking my a levels..
i try so hard to ensure that i study... but i keep procrastinating..and i wonder why i am like that...
i wish that i can just sit down, focus and study...
but no... i just have too many distractions..

i really hope that i have the strenght to keep up in my studies as well as the behaviour of some people...

*peace out*

procrastination

i love this pic
life has been ok these days...
there is so much i want to do...
but somehow i can never do it..
not because there is too little time but more because of my attitude..
i am one of a bloody lazy girl....

so yeah my ambition of studying during the hols has basically screwed up...
i have been procrastinating since saturday...
my hols is coming to an end....and i haven been able to do anything..
except slacking watching tv and comp...

so right now, i need to set my priorities right....
my a levels is coming and i really need to focus...
because if i dun.. i dun want to feel regret and that i have wasted my time...
so dhilah...

WAKE UP!!!

START FOCUSING!!!!

STOP PROCRASTINATING!!!!!

START STUDYING!!!!!

well hopefully i can do it...

*peace out*

testing 1..2..3...

actually i have nothing to write...
its just dat fizah wanted me to test whether wen i publish my post it can be seen on my blog..
so here i am writing this so dat there is something to see wen i publish my post...
hahahahah..
okay, i think this is enough..

*peace out*

who said SPA was relaxing.....

yesterday i studied hard for SPA..
today had the SPA exam..
it was disappointing...
cos i kind of screw it up wen i missed a compound...
haiz... it so very the upsetting
kind of worried too...
as its 5 % of my chem a level...

haiz...
well i guess wats done is done...
theres nothing i can do abt...
i tried my very best..
its pointless to cry over spilt milk...
who said SPA was relaxing...

so lets focus on smthg happier..
oh ya...went to eat with fiz, fatimah and hafidz...
kind of funny..
there was this small cockroach at where we were sitting
as usual fatimah make a big fuss..
hafidz being the only guy pun quited penakut...
said he geli... hahahahah..

but then out of nowhere he kicked and stamp on the cockroach..
it was so random... none of us expect him to it ah...
hahahah
and finally we ate in peace....
and ryan and me came up with this new shake hands thingy...
kinda cool kan....hahahahah

*peace out*

am i reading too much into it? assurance is needed...

well firstly, i got a new phone and specs!!!
hahaha...finally.im so glad...

well this few weeks have been ok..
fun on some days like wen we hang out with the class and stuffs..

but i feel kind of empty at times...
now without any rhyme or reason i can get upset..
sometimes i wonder whether it is right for me to have those feelings..
i mean we are all entitled to our own decisions and thoughts
but i wonder why i should not have those thoughts..
every single details that i observed...
i wonder whether its because of me...
or am i jus reading into it too much..
sigh...

i dun noe... i really dun noe..
i need some assurance...
can u assure me?
and drive those thoughts away...
did what happen when i was a kid the cause for this sense of insecure...
then should i blame those people who made me feel like this...?

am i reading too much into it?
i need assurance..

*peace out*

NEEDS..

lots of things have happen these past few weeks....
at home everything is fine..
except that sis kind of got into a bicycle accident..that left her disfigured..
ok. thats kind of an exaggeration... jus some scratches on her face and arms..

my printer is spoil so now i have problem trying to print watever i want..
such a chore when technology is not at ur disposal..
i need a new printer

my phone is spoil..
a few weeks ago, it fell into the toilet hole but after drying, it was as good as new..
but a few days ago, without any warning it died on me...
i have been phoneless for 2 days.. n its killing me..
i feel so disconnected and i cant jus sms to find out stuffs..which is really bad...
i need a new phone

and my specs is senget now that i feel kinda dizzy wearing it..
one of the lens is even displaced from the frames..
i need a new specs..

oh and 3 of my frens have been retained..
i feel really bad for that..
i could have been one of them..
but thank god...

so yeah basically, i have a lot of needs..

*peace out*

today is history....

today is history man!
i tink this is the first time after a long time that i went home damn early...
hahahah..by 123o i was already making my way home...
wahahahah...man dat felt really good..
should do this more often but i tink it will be difficult though...

even dad was shocked i was home early...hahaha
so after he went to work i was home alone since mum also went out..
thought that i played comp for a whine before studying but sis used it...
so no comp..i didnt have the mood to study...

baring2 kejap before i knew it i fell asleep...woke up at 0530 and prayed...
did a bit of my chem notes..
and finally i get to use the comp...

im seriously addicted to using comp...
i used to be like ok ok with using comp..
never felt the urge to really use it but nowadays..
haiyo...tak use comp macam tak sah...
hahahahah

*peace out*

tiring tuesday

today was a very tiring..tiring day..
came to sch earlier than usual and had our morning jog..
2.4 km bt i kinda cheated abit so it was 2km...
straight after that was SPE..another 2.4km..
this time i didnt cheat..hahahha
so yeah..after that was break and we had the normal lessons...

Gp was fun cos we didnt do anything much..
jus discussed some stuff related with sports...
that will be my last lesson with ms leow...
damn man....shes like the most coolest gp teacher ah..
haiz...wish i got her for my own gp class...

basically nothing much happen..
except that i gt YQ into trouble...
well it wasnt that bad actually..
its jus that ms lim has been keeping a lookout for the guys with long hair..
so as a good tpjcian, i felt like it was my duty and responsibility to help her out with it...
wahahahaha like real...
(ms lim in front of the class)
me (in a loud voice): eh YQ, why ur fringe touch ur eyebrown ah..go cut your hair ah..
YQ: face so shocked and look like hes gonna strangle me soon

hahahaha.. i love to disturb him...
its so FUN!
really make my day....

oh ya...rite now fiz is crazed over somebody..
so as a good fren..which i am by the way...i will go along with watever shes gonna do...
hahaks...love is crazy..

*peace out*

finally im updating..

once again...it has been a long long time since i blogged...
im beginning to realise that my sentence will starts with ' its been a long time since i blogged'
hahahah...maklumlah busy kan...
padahal2...

so yeah, lots of things have been happening which i cant really say cos i kind of forget..
the truth is i have STM = Short Term Memory..
hahahah
anyway, been busy preparing for the orientation for interact club..
kind of excited to meet the new people and all...
but as usual when planning for events, there will always be some problems..
sometimes with the planning itself and sometimes with the people involved...

if u feel that you do not know what is going then make an effort to find out..
it is not our fault that u fail to understand it
your attitude puts people off..
and when we are discussing the least you can do is to find out and asked the one in charge
instead of going off....
so if you want respect for youself, learn to respect others too..
and by the way, Pls change your attitude cos it STINKS!

NEWS UPDATE: my economics teacher has changed!!
hahah.. YEAH!!
the new one looks nicer and seem more approachable..
i hope that i am able to change my econs marks for the better..

*adios*