Fad's Life Thoughts.

Shahira Amees wants to keep up with you on Twitter

2009-07-10T08:24:00.001+08:00

Shahira Amees wants to keep up with you on Twitter

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2009-02-10T09:51:00.001+08:00

2009-02-03T09:58:00.001+08:00

2009-02-03T09:56:00.001+08:00

Hi!

2009-02-03T09:28:00.001+08:00

Hi Fadhilah :)

Regards,
ShahirAmees

FW: Check videos on all the cool features!

2009-02-03T09:27:00.000+08:00

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???

2009-02-03T09:12:00.002+08:00

whats up?
shock to see myself updating..
actually its not an update.
my course requires us to make a blog so here i am pretending to work ya..
ok.. whatever..

life, work, life, work........

2008-04-27T13:47:00.004+08:00

i so love this pic

wokay........ its been freaking long since i updated this thing..

hahahahah... and somebody sure is piss with me...right fiz??

hahahah..

there is nothing going on much rite now...

9 to 6 frm mon to fri im in the office...

weekend are spent with family although there is an occasional gathering with friends...

end of april..its been four months i have worked...and wow...thats really long hahahah..

everyone at work keep asking whether im a permanent staff already...hahaha

yeah right...as if i want to work there for ever....

oh man....no reply yet from any unis....which is kinda scary....

cos i seriously hope that i am able to get into atleast ntu or nie....

because the prospect of working until the next poly admission is gonna drive me crazy....

and last fri met up with the tpss gang...hahahah

was quite a nite with lots of stories...as usual...

although it was a short nite...it was fun and definitely a refreshing for me after having spent a shitty day at work...

and i seriously hate this guy at work...

such an insensitive bastard who thinks he is the bloody king of the world..

such a creep...only knows how to blame people and he thinks hes always right..

like wtf...

the thought of seeing his face mon to fri makes me wanna puke...

god give me strength to face the coming months wif that ass face of a man....

feel better after i said my piece...

wouldnt it be much better if i can say it to his face huh....

life...the way it is.

2008-03-22T22:09:00.002+08:00

its been quite sometime since i updated dis thing...
im just really lazy and tired to do so..

this past weeks has been simple for me...
go to work...come back home
and thats the cycle of my life..

of course once in awhile i will hang out wif my frens and family...
but somehow working jus seem to take your social life ti quite a minimum extent..

so i have received my results like weeks ago...
i passed all my subjects although it was a minimum pass..
but i am glad cos it was really hard for me to pass in jc...so i am thankful that i did pass my A levels..
so i applied to the unis jus to see if there is any chance i could go to a uni and applied to nie too...
it will be really cool for me to be a teacher cos that was one of my earliest aspirations as far as i could remember....

i have been working for three months now... which really seem like a long time...
work is okay...not many ups but not many downs either...

so in all, my life right now is still in balance and i have absolutely no idea wats the next step..
so i guess i will take it slow...one step at a time and meanwhile enjoy life with the people that i love...

i wish theres a sign to show me the way.....

vday......

2008-02-15T20:52:00.002+08:00

well...well...yest was valentine's day and gosh was it sickening....
on the way home frm suntec saw so MANY couples hoding hands, with flowers...
laughing with each other....dining....
chocolates stores has long queue of men buying goodies for their beloved...
and mrt was packed like never before with couples arranging to meet each other...

not that im jealous mind you...but seriously its only this one stupid day....
and trust me, 2 weeks later all this lovey dovey stuff is going to turn sour...
love is not jus about one day...
its about a lifetime...
we should be sweet to each other every day to build up that togetherness...
not on jus one particular day where you are all abt sweetness, love and romance...
romance is something to be felt every day....

ok since when am i such an angst on love....hahah
dun even haf experience on romance and want to talk alot huh....
aahahahaha
anyway let them enjoy la ah...
even if its for one day....

oh and im meeting fiza to go watch movie!!
hahha..da lame tk jumpe...
so much i want to ask...

BORED

2008-02-02T15:21:00.000+08:00

its been a while since i update....
hahha...
busy and tired wif work..
anyway, met up wif fiza, ryan, mj and hafidz at simpang bedok...
it was nice meeting them...and kind of glad that im not the only one feeling dat way abt life..
hahaah...

k.. nothing else to write...
see...my life is boring....

the week at a glance

2008-01-20T15:06:00.000+08:00

this whole week has been an average week...except for fri nite...
met up with my best counterpart, fizah...
hahahah..

it was nice meeting her after so long...
talked abt stuff from a to z and 1 to infinity...
so basically we talked alot and about anything, which is wat i always love abt us...hahha
talk and talk until both of us got thirsty...
but u noe wat... it was so worth it!

so next fri we meeting again...
last fri was oreo cheesecake..
this fri is sushi session pulak...hahaha

QUOTES FOR THE WEEK

2008-01-12T18:10:00.000+08:00

before that....
Selamat maal hijrah, 1429...

the best way to make your

dreams come true is to wake up

PAUL VALERY

failure is when a man who has

blundered but is not able to cash in on the experience

ELBERT HUBBARD

procrastination is the thief of time

ANONYMOUS

our greatest glory is not in never falling

but in rising every time we fall

CONFUCIUS

always do what you are afraid to do

WALDO EMERSON

you must be the change you want to see in the world

GANDHI

and a quote which can be rather uninspirational...hahahha

if at first you dont succeed, try, try again

then quit

theres no use being a damn fool about it

WC FIELDS

START OF A NEW YEAR...

2008-01-06T16:43:00.000+08:00

it has been a week into the year of 2008...
and things hasnt been very good....
still this doesnt mean that we should give up...
there is still a long way to 2009......

i was looking at a pic of an individual wearing the grad gown and the cap...
and as i was looking at it, i felt that i really want to be that person wearing the gown and cap...
i want to do it not only for my mum but also for myself...
i know i have faltered alot in the past 2 years...
but i have to go on and srtive for more and work harder if thats wat i really want to achieve...
i want to be able to do something meaningful with my life that i can be satisfied with...
its going to be one long hard road....
who says its ever going to be easy...
so i hope that this year.... i will keep focused on my goals and not get swayed by other things easily..
i want all my family and frens to be happy and that 2008 will be a great year...
and the start of something new for me...

whatever is going to happen... i will accept it as it is....
and try to move on and work hard...

I CAN DO IT!

2008 WILL BE MY YEAR!

just thoughts

2007-12-30T14:18:00.000+08:00

well.... this week has been... how shall i say it...

tiring?...exciting?hectic?

i dun noe how to describe it but its a compilation of all the above description...

anyway starting working at kak leha's office...

helping in data entry of accounts and creating payment and repairing whatever mistakes...

it was ok...

not that hard...

but all the numbers and addresses, invoices and whatnots can be very confusing...

this week...have been going to work with kak leha...

naik kereta so i was always early for work...

but wen its time to go home....thats where i get really pissed off...

so many people!! and i waited for an HOUR for 518!...

wen the bus datang.. penuh like hell...

so now wen i go home i dun bother to wait...

jus take the mrt...

itupun sesak jugak but atleast i get home faster...

one thing i realised is that working life is boring and scary...

boring in a way that you have to do the work

no excuses can be given unlike school...

and going to office everyday jus seem so lifeless unlike school...

just cannot pin point the diff but somehow you will feel the change...

its scary cos well wen you make mistakes.. its not like in school where the teachers say its alright and its a learning process...

you can always try again next time...

but at work... wen you do wrong... you feel guilty

and wen you do wrong at work it may affect others alot

and its no longer jus a learning process...

hahhaha...gosh i have only started a few days n there is so much i have realised and learned...

on the other hand.. the money that comes after all this is worth the pain....

school is starting soon and its really weird not going to school or buying sch stuffs..

i guess there is no longer anything concrete to hold onto...

unlike years ago where you know end of dec its time to go back to school and the normal routine...

but its not like that anymore...

life changes is a pain but what the heck...we all need it..

cos if there is no changes..there is no life....

GIRLS OUTING 22 Dec 2007

2007-12-23T15:13:00.000+08:00

Budak - budak takde keje..hahaha

Atika, effa, dilah, fiz

Aidil Adha 2007

2007-12-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Aidil Adha!

its has been awhile since we took photos...

so..it seems an appropriate ocassion for some camwhoring...

some people were misssing from the pics tho.....

They do wonders......

Boys to men.... Men to boys..

Kumpulan tua kutuk..hahahhaha

Angels....

Mummy and naqibah

the cousins...

kumpulan panca si dara tua....

the old gals...A tribute to our dearest auntie...Mummy Zenut Nesa

;)

2007-12-14T21:13:00.000+08:00

there is only one sentence to describe yesterday..............

A FUN, RELAXING AND SECRETS REVEALING DAY!

hahahaha...dilah should know...

I.T shoppin

2007-12-11T21:41:00.000+08:00

My new digital organiser

Kakak's new phone

today me and sis went IT shopping...

sis bought a new cool phone. KU990...

and for my birthday she bought me a digital organizer...

initially i had wanted a new phone but then if the features are still the same as my old phone...might as well i get the organizer...

Im really glad we talked it out and that we are cool now...

but i do apologise once again for making you feel dat way...

Happy birthday to me

2007-12-09T15:24:00.000+08:00

today..im officially 18...

gosh... im all grown up...

important decisions to be made by myself...

taking responsibility for all my decisions and doings...

life is going to get complicated

but that is not going to stop me from living my life...

to those who have wished me...thank you very much!

to you who matters.... talk it out...dun keep me in suspense...

welcome home

2007-12-08T21:20:00.000+08:00

sis just got back from phuket dis evening...

she kind of look good...must be the tan...hahah

oh and she got kind me dis watch cum bracelet which i so so so LOVE!!!!

hahahah..yeah finally got this kind of bracelet......

fuh...excited nk pakai...hahahah

bhaiyya ki shaadi

2007-12-06T19:50:00.000+08:00

The newly weds

30 Nov 2007 --> Nikah

02 Dec 2007 -- Sanding

the bride, my sis in law.... the groom, my bro all ready to go pick up the bride...

wen its all over we smile!...hes a married man!

tengah stress nak nikah...hahahahah

The cake..yummy....

The things that were to be brought to the girl's side

Abg getting ready for the nikah...

these are some of the pics...

will update again as soon as i get hold of them...

and i still haven get the prom pics...

ahahah...so later will do it once i get it...

anyway..sis is off to phuket for a few days...

bro jus left for honeymoon yesterday to krabi...

so im the only child for now...

ahahah

kind of boring cos no one to argue or kid around with...

worse of all.... have to do the household chores myself.... haiya...

2007-11-23T10:37:00.000+08:00

IT HAS ENDED!!!

YAY!!! Now i can really enjoy myself....
so many things to do.. so little time!!
i wanna watch lots of movies!! so many of them...
and i still haven got anything to wear for prom...
wat a headache...

and fats gone for a few days...
she will obviously enjoy herself...
so cool to go there...
wish i could go too...hahahaha

i dun want it to change....

2007-11-21T18:01:00.000+08:00

one more paper to the end of 'A' Levels!

WOHOO!!!

approx 9 days to abang's wedding....

I miss us...

split second

2007-11-17T17:11:00.000+08:00

every morning.... when you wake up.. there is this split second where everything seems normal..
then reality starts to sink it..
even though its jus for a split second...it feels so real..
it act as a booster to get out of the bed and carry on with our daily life..

yet this morning i chose to stay in bed...
thinking.....
thinking whether wateva i haf done is enough or maybe i could do more but jus couldnt find the strength to do so....
nevertheless, i know i have given my best shot and wats to come will come...
theres nothing i can do to stop it....

so the next time wen you wake up...
do enjoy that split second where everything seems normal....

life? not ready....

2007-11-13T19:12:00.000+08:00

Life is full of uncertainties..

its was so much easier in the past...

from pri to sec then either go poly or jc...

after that... is where reality starts to set in...

a levels is ending soon and yet i really wish i could start all over again...

i dun tink i am ready to face the challenges of the real world...

im scared, worried that i may not have a place in this world...

i dunno wat to do wif my life...

im not sure that i can get the results i hoped for..

its jus too painful to fail..

yet again it might jus be the thing to encourage me or on a darker side...discourage me..

i really dun want to grow up...

why cant we stay the way we are...

i dun tink im ready...

dunno why but recently i have felt more alone than ever..

there are people around me but they dun seem to notice me...

not that im craving the attention...

but the feelings of being somebody's friend is diminishing..

probably its jus a very stressing period and im way overreacting...

but who knows...

i really wish that i can talk to someone and help me through this...

but i believe people are all busy with their own probs...

besides this might jus be a phase in life then probably only me can go through it and survive...

im trying not too tink so much and jus go wif the flow.. but its easier said than done..

i dun want to disappoint mum...

for now.. i tink i should jus enjoy the wonders of life that it brings along besides the pain...

come nov 22.......

2007-11-09T16:56:00.000+08:00

'A' Levels is ending in a few weeks time...cant believe but am glad dat its ending...
im not so confident regarding the results tho...
its kind of sad that after almost 12 years of education, it may not end well...
but i only have myself to blame and no one else..
but again, its too late to do anything more...
i did what i could and leave the rest to fate...

So.... when nov 22 comes i am so going to enjoy myself!
watch movies, spend my time on the computer....
go shopping and prepare for bro's wedding..
man..im so EXCITED!
hahaha...
but mum wants me to find work and i have no idea what to do...
shitlah... y must i work?? hahaha...
List of things to do: (rough guide)
1) Watch lots of movies
2) Stay up late
3) Rent vcds
4) Shopping for prom
5)Kemas bilik and boxes and all other stuff
6) Find work... haiyo...............

Meantime, still need to study...its not over yet..................

SAD

2007-09-14T15:33:00.000+08:00

i feel so stupid...
so many careless mistakes and wrong answers
wat the heck was i thinking??
why cant i be smart!
its so frustrating...
STUPID CHEM PAPER!!
argh!!
i am really really sad.......... ;(

?

2007-09-12T14:55:00.000+08:00

Its been awhile since i blog because i did not have pressurizing issue to be let out...
but the pressure on me is tremendous.
i feel so exhausted yet i have to kee on going.
prelims is here and the few papers i have taken has but encouraged and show me that i am ready for the a levels..
i am so worried and worked up..
its not that i do not pt in effort..
i do i really do but somehow during the exams i am just stunned and cant seem to operate my mind well.
if this goes on, i do not how i am goin to handle my a levels....
i dont wat to be like those people who cry when they get their exams results..
i want to atleast be contented that i get to apply for the universities that i want and do the course i prefer...
but the thought of university now just seem so distant and out of reach..
i have never fell so helpless and stupid
and disappointed with myself.
the worse is my parents disappointment...

but whatever it is..
i chose this step..
like it or not..
i have to complete the journey no matter what the outcome is...........

the week

2007-07-21T11:39:00.000+08:00

its has been quite a week...
had this netball inter house tournament..
it was a very quick kind of competition where if we lose we are out...
so the first time that we played, tot we were going to lose..
BUT... amazingly we won...and continue to win
BUT again we lose one match and clinched the fourth place..
even though we didnt get anyting..it was a proud moment as we had no practice whatsoever...
jus a few shooting practices and passes.. like 2 hours before the thing started..
so yea.. we are good...hahhaha

and last night went to dancefest..
it was amazing and so cool..
i love to see people dance...
the winners deserve the praise and commendation...
really enjoyed myself..
at the end... had this dance on stage where its like clubbing..
but it was stupid cos people jus got on stage and talk or take pictures..
and also there were dancing but breakdance and only 1 person were doin it and the others watching it...
so yeah it was quite a night...

and gosh we are stepping down soon!
need to get the monatge ready which i am not too sure what to do....
haiz...

*peace out*

HARRY POTTER!

2007-07-13T21:19:00.000+08:00

HARRY POTTER, HARRY POTTER.....OOOH!
HARRY POTTER, HARRY POTTER.....YEAH!

hahahaha.. yeah watched harry potter..
quite nice and am so gald that i saw it..
but quite sad that the scene where sirius died is rather short and insignificant...
it was so sudden...
the part where harry showed him sadness was kinda muted and fast too...
what the heck...its supposed to be the saddest part of the whole story..
yet, i do not feel the tug of string in my heart..hahaha

anyway... kudos to the director and the cast and crew of Harry Potter cos it was nice...
in my opinion la...
hahha
Harry ROCKS!

once again........

HARRY POTTER, HARRY POTTER.....OOOH!
HARRY POTTER, HARRY POTTER.....YEAH!
:)

mixed emotions

2007-07-09T18:44:00.000+08:00

sad......
angry.......
dissapointed........
irritated........
stupid........

i hate myself...

No Sacrifice.......No Victory!

2007-07-04T21:20:00.000+08:00

ok... its official..
i have officially screwed up my mid years..
its so bad that my bio teacher has to come up to me and asked whether i study or not..
i am so bloody screwed...

if i want to succeed in my 'a' levels, i seriouslyhave to start now...
and i have to stop watching youtubes and all the other craps...
becos as captain witwicky has said: No Sacrifice.....No Victory!
so like it or not, i have to buck up and start mugging!

on a lighter note,...
TRANSFORMERS IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel like watching it again!!
but then again i can only do it when the ordeal is over...
oh...
and harry potter song is damn cute...
i have come up with a song for transformers too!
wahahhahaha..
but im kinda tone deaf so...it probably sucks...

lastly i am so tired.....
ahahhaha...

*peace out*

Ch-ch-changes

2007-06-27T23:42:00.000+08:00

seconds had turned into minutes...
minutes turned into hours...
hours turn into days ...
and days turn into weeks..
finally...weeks turn into months..

BUT one thing hasnt change...
i still dont update that regularly...hah..
anyway..lots have things have happened..
like my recently screwed up mid year exam...
i shall not elaborate..
its just too painful...
hah...

so yeah...and i hope that i can change...
cos...
NOW IS THE TIME TO CHANGE...
before its too late...

****

2007-05-22T22:30:00.000+08:00

STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT!
IM F***ING TIRED AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS MAKE WORSE
SOMETIMES YOU SAY THINGS LIKE YOU ARE A REAL F***ING BOSS
SO DO ONE THING FOR ME NOW...

F*** OFF

life = bitch?

2007-05-19T17:41:00.000+08:00

life can be a bitch...
when you are feeling good..it will throw in something to dampen your spirit..
when you are feeling down..it will throw in something to boost your spirit

because of you, i have to be the good one..
to be on her good side so as not to upset her further
when she is stress about you, the rest of us gets her anger too
sometime i feel like im not 17...
i am suppose to be the teenage... rebelling against parents becos that is the phase of life..
but no..u are the one rebelling and i have to be the one correcting your mistakes
i cant even enjoy a good day out wif my frens for fear that she will be upset
i always have to think about you and her before i can do anything
i want to go out too
i want to spand my time with my frens
i want to go out somewhere far and be home late

but the truth is i am scared..
scared that i will disappoint her like you did
i dont want her to treat me like the way she did u...
thats why i never treat her the way you did

sometimes i wonder whether whatever you are doing is on purpose
to test the limit of her patience
i dont know...

im tired...very very tired...of the shit that is going on..
i jus wish things will go back to normal

HEYY!!

2007-05-03T19:46:00.000+08:00

HELO HELO HELO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its been a damn long time
been busy with sch...
tmr will be I.U nite
hope everything runs smoothly and the decor oso should be ok
and june camp coming up
damn excited to plan ah...
WHEEEEEE!!!!
hahahah

over....

2007-04-19T20:58:00.000+08:00

ok...blogger is making my life miserable...
cant seem to upload pics...
anyway gemilang is finally OVER!
and although i didnt win anything, it has been a great experience for me...

and thanks to fiz, aruna, fatimah, kenneth and the 06s06 people for coming to support me...
so sorry that i lost...

thanks people..

zest for life.................

2007-04-12T20:13:00.000+08:00

jus finished doing econs fac test..
there is a 99.9% of failing...
wait a min....
i tink its 100%!
cos i never pass my econs
sometimes i kinda regret taking econs...
i simply cant get the concept....
unlike everyone else in the class..
there is definitely something wrong wif me...

studies aside...i SOOOOO want to meet syaza, mary and celeste to play netball!!!!
it was suppose to be this sat bt i gt CCA..
dammit it...
i really2 want to go...
i never felt the urge to do something so much....
this is the only thing that is keeping the zest for life in me...

sometimes i feel that all my energy is drained out from me...
i feel so tired that i want to sleep and never wake up...
bt i haf to...

ok...must study chem now...
mug...mug...mug....

my thoughts

2007-04-09T18:57:00.000+08:00

ok..its been awhile ever since i wrote anything..
nothing new though...
im forever lagging wen it comes to blogging..

anyway..recently i read this special edition of newsweek about the american soldiers that died in Iraq..
not that i am very supportive of the thing that is going on in Iraq right now..
but i cant help feeling a sense of loss for the families of those who were sacrificed..
as u read their diaries and entries.. u will realise that they are getting sick of the war too...
all they want is to come home and live with their families...

for some, they died a day before they were scheduled to leave Iraq..
there are others who died without seeing their children who were just born...
come to think of it..i dont know how the families of those sacrificed ever gather the courage to face with such dampen thoughts..
and what about those who were killed...
what was the last thing that went through their minds...
how does it feel to know that at any time...things can happen and u may just lose ur life...

like one of them had said.."Anytime i am here is the day i die"

ok...enought with these serious stuffs...
oh i gt into the finals of the hosting competition which i am clearly amazed..
cos i swear i screwed up...
well...wat the hell...
since im in..might as well give my best shot...

*peace out*

4e3 gathering

2007-04-01T14:39:00.000+08:00

there is only one word to describe yesterday

AMAZING!!

thanks guys for all the fun, laughter and joy we had yesterday..

we so should do this more often.

helo...im finally blogging

2007-03-26T16:24:00.000+08:00

its been a long long long time since i updated..

not that nothing exciting has been going on..its just due to pure laziness..

so here i am...blogging even though i have chem spa tomorrow...

oh well...a little bit of time taken to chill will not hurt...would it?

anyway.. interact club had their orientaton and i am soooo..glad that it turn out way better than the previous orientation..

in fact i felt my spirits lifted up when i saw the j1s coming in..

unfortunately...it was short - lived....

due to unforseen circumstances... it felt that maybe just maybe i could have done better..

due to some bitchings...it made me feel quite disappointed...

but what the heck...i dun not look up to you...

so if the people i need to look up to say it was ok then i shall believe that it was ok too...

just so you know...your glory days are over..

get the hell out and stop pretending that u are what you are.. cos well...

cos u suck!

man..that felt better..

talking about this just make my head hurts... so yeah lets forget about this..

and to fizah...wahahahah..relek ah..all those things i said is just a joke ok!

and i will still love you no matter what...hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah..

man i just cannot forget how u look at Ljs today...ahhahahahahahahahahaha...

ok..ok...relek..promise i wont laugh anymore k..

*peace out*

whats wrong with u?

2007-03-03T20:19:00.000+08:00

i seriously have no idea what is going on her head...
shes been showing so much of angst and attitude..
so cold towards all those around her..
nowadays i cant seem to get thru to her.
its like shes pulling away from us..
every little bit upsets her and make her mad..

even dad who is such a sweet old guy could not stand her..
i have never seen dad like that
no matter how difficult it was to get thru her, dad is always the cool and less emo type.
but now..
it seems that even dad is fed up..
no wait...everybody is fed up

i dont know what to say or do anymore..
is this how it is going to be forever?
because of one stupid mistake..
i guess its true..
you can never run away from the past...

*peace out

who you are...

2007-02-28T18:40:00.000+08:00

Extracted from somewhere:

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at the crossroads.

Afraid.

Confused.

Without a road map, the choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days.

Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back.

But once in a while, people push on to something better.

Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone.

And just beyond the bravery and courage, it takes to let someone in.

Or to give someone a second chance.

Something beyond the quite persistence of a dream

Because it's only when you're tested, that you truly discover who you are.

And it's only when you're tested, that you discover who you can be.

such amazing words....

*peace out*

haiz....

2007-02-25T20:25:00.000+08:00

sometimes.. i just dont get her..
without any rhyme or reason.. she would flare up..
i dont even noe where my fault lies..
thats is why whenever she acts up.. i will just ignore her..
it hurts alot but i rather keep quite than say things which will hurt her..

as if i have nothing else on my mind..
i am already very worried about my studies...
i am basically screwing up and this year im taking my a levels..
i try so hard to ensure that i study... but i keep procrastinating..and i wonder why i am like that...
i wish that i can just sit down, focus and study...
but no... i just have too many distractions..

i really hope that i have the strenght to keep up in my studies as well as the behaviour of some people...

*peace out*

procrastination

2007-02-19T17:49:00.000+08:00

i love this pic
life has been ok these days...
there is so much i want to do...
but somehow i can never do it..
not because there is too little time but more because of my attitude..
i am one of a bloody lazy girl....

so yeah my ambition of studying during the hols has basically screwed up...
i have been procrastinating since saturday...
my hols is coming to an end....and i haven been able to do anything..
except slacking watching tv and comp...

so right now, i need to set my priorities right....
my a levels is coming and i really need to focus...
because if i dun.. i dun want to feel regret and that i have wasted my time...
so dhilah...

WAKE UP!!!

START FOCUSING!!!!

STOP PROCRASTINATING!!!!!

START STUDYING!!!!!

well hopefully i can do it...

*peace out*

testing 1..2..3...

2007-02-10T10:57:00.000+08:00

actually i have nothing to write...
its just dat fizah wanted me to test whether wen i publish my post it can be seen on my blog..
so here i am writing this so dat there is something to see wen i publish my post...
hahahahah..
okay, i think this is enough..

*peace out*

who said SPA was relaxing.....

2007-02-08T20:05:00.000+08:00

yesterday i studied hard for SPA..
today had the SPA exam..
it was disappointing...
cos i kind of screw it up wen i missed a compound...
haiz... it so very the upsetting
kind of worried too...
as its 5 % of my chem a level...

haiz...
well i guess wats done is done...
theres nothing i can do abt...
i tried my very best..
its pointless to cry over spilt milk...
who said SPA was relaxing...

so lets focus on smthg happier..
oh ya...went to eat with fiz, fatimah and hafidz...
kind of funny..
there was this small cockroach at where we were sitting
as usual fatimah make a big fuss..
hafidz being the only guy pun quited penakut...
said he geli... hahahahah..

but then out of nowhere he kicked and stamp on the cockroach..
it was so random... none of us expect him to it ah...
hahahah
and finally we ate in peace....
and ryan and me came up with this new shake hands thingy...
kinda cool kan....hahahahah

*peace out*

am i reading too much into it? assurance is needed...

2007-02-07T17:50:00.000+08:00

well firstly, i got a new phone and specs!!!
hahaha...finally.im so glad...

well this few weeks have been ok..
fun on some days like wen we hang out with the class and stuffs..

but i feel kind of empty at times...
now without any rhyme or reason i can get upset..
sometimes i wonder whether it is right for me to have those feelings..
i mean we are all entitled to our own decisions and thoughts
but i wonder why i should not have those thoughts..
every single details that i observed...
i wonder whether its because of me...
or am i jus reading into it too much..
sigh...

i dun noe... i really dun noe..
i need some assurance...
can u assure me?
and drive those thoughts away...
did what happen when i was a kid the cause for this sense of insecure...
then should i blame those people who made me feel like this...?

am i reading too much into it?
i need assurance..

*peace out*

NEEDS..

2007-01-30T19:59:00.000+08:00

lots of things have happen these past few weeks....
at home everything is fine..
except that sis kind of got into a bicycle accident..that left her disfigured..
ok. thats kind of an exaggeration... jus some scratches on her face and arms..

my printer is spoil so now i have problem trying to print watever i want..
such a chore when technology is not at ur disposal..
i need a new printer

my phone is spoil..
a few weeks ago, it fell into the toilet hole but after drying, it was as good as new..
but a few days ago, without any warning it died on me...
i have been phoneless for 2 days.. n its killing me..
i feel so disconnected and i cant jus sms to find out stuffs..which is really bad...
i need a new phone

and my specs is senget now that i feel kinda dizzy wearing it..
one of the lens is even displaced from the frames..
i need a new specs..

oh and 3 of my frens have been retained..
i feel really bad for that..
i could have been one of them..
but thank god...

so yeah basically, i have a lot of needs..

*peace out*

today is history....

2007-01-24T19:45:00.000+08:00

today is history man!
i tink this is the first time after a long time that i went home damn early...
hahahah..by 123o i was already making my way home...
wahahahah...man dat felt really good..
should do this more often but i tink it will be difficult though...

even dad was shocked i was home early...hahaha
so after he went to work i was home alone since mum also went out..
thought that i played comp for a whine before studying but sis used it...
so no comp..i didnt have the mood to study...

baring2 kejap before i knew it i fell asleep...woke up at 0530 and prayed...
did a bit of my chem notes..
and finally i get to use the comp...

im seriously addicted to using comp...
i used to be like ok ok with using comp..
never felt the urge to really use it but nowadays..
haiyo...tak use comp macam tak sah...
hahahahah

*peace out*

tiring tuesday

2007-01-23T18:27:00.000+08:00

today was a very tiring..tiring day..
came to sch earlier than usual and had our morning jog..
2.4 km bt i kinda cheated abit so it was 2km...
straight after that was SPE..another 2.4km..
this time i didnt cheat..hahahha
so yeah..after that was break and we had the normal lessons...

Gp was fun cos we didnt do anything much..
jus discussed some stuff related with sports...
that will be my last lesson with ms leow...
damn man....shes like the most coolest gp teacher ah..
haiz...wish i got her for my own gp class...

basically nothing much happen..
except that i gt YQ into trouble...
well it wasnt that bad actually..
its jus that ms lim has been keeping a lookout for the guys with long hair..
so as a good tpjcian, i felt like it was my duty and responsibility to help her out with it...
wahahahaha like real...
(ms lim in front of the class)
me (in a loud voice): eh YQ, why ur fringe touch ur eyebrown ah..go cut your hair ah..
YQ: face so shocked and look like hes gonna strangle me soon

hahahaha.. i love to disturb him...
its so FUN!
really make my day....

oh ya...rite now fiz is crazed over somebody..
so as a good fren..which i am by the way...i will go along with watever shes gonna do...
hahaks...love is crazy..

*peace out*

finally im updating..

2007-01-12T18:26:00.000+08:00

once again...it has been a long long time since i blogged...
im beginning to realise that my sentence will starts with ' its been a long time since i blogged'
hahahah...maklumlah busy kan...
padahal2...

so yeah, lots of things have been happening which i cant really say cos i kind of forget..
the truth is i have STM = Short Term Memory..
hahahah
anyway, been busy preparing for the orientation for interact club..
kind of excited to meet the new people and all...
but as usual when planning for events, there will always be some problems..
sometimes with the planning itself and sometimes with the people involved...

if u feel that you do not know what is going then make an effort to find out..
it is not our fault that u fail to understand it
your attitude puts people off..
and when we are discussing the least you can do is to find out and asked the one in charge
instead of going off....
so if you want respect for youself, learn to respect others too..
and by the way, Pls change your attitude cos it STINKS!

NEWS UPDATE: my economics teacher has changed!!
hahah.. YEAH!!
the new one looks nicer and seem more approachable..
i hope that i am able to change my econs marks for the better..

*adios*

HELLO 2007!!

2007-01-05T15:37:00.000+08:00

Its been like a few weeks since i have blogged...
thats is like a really long long time...
anyway, 2006 is over and a new year starts, 2007..
i cant believe that i slept thru the year!
i didnt even countdown..
haiyo! horrible sey dilah..

alot has happen which i kind of lazy to story tell...
and i didnt manage to finish all my homeworks but i did some...
anyway...school has started and this is gonna be a busy and hectic year for me..
all i hope is that i have the strength and courage to face it..
i had wanted to do a new year resolutions thingy..
but then i thought if u want to make a good change, why wait for a new year..
u can always make that change anytime..

besides, i have tried doing resolutions in the past but it kinda didnt work...
so i decided not to waste my time..

oh ya... this year is gonna be a cool year for me too...
my 2 cousins and bro are getting married..
one will be in march, the other in september..i think and my bro is getting married in december!
hahaha...mesti kecoh punye...
its is also gonna be a stressful year as im taking my a levels...
i really hope that i will make it...

that all for now...
maybe i will blog again..
soon. i hope..

*peace out*

happy birthday...

2006-12-09T11:33:00.000+08:00

9th december 1989..
that was the day i was born...
today marks the 17th year i have lived in this world..

the night before, we had this sleepover thingy...
both of us on the floor using my blanket as bed..
after a few mins..both of us cant sleep cos it was uncomfortable..
finally we decided to return to our lovely beds and slept soundly after that..

the next morning, i woke up to a macdonald's breakfast bought by my sis..
thanks kak...so much..
we ate and talked and it felt good...
not exactly the birthday i had in mind but it was so much better..

as i sat there eating, i thought about the past 16 years of my life..
i admit that i have done a lot of mistakes
i was happy.. and at times sad too..
but i have never regretted any of my decisions...

but on this day..i am deeply upset..
the person who brought me into this world had not talked to me...
not even wishing me...
i am glad for my sister because she gave me the strength to face this..
when your loved ones do not talked to you..it hurts badly..
its so painful that you wished someone would just take you away so that you dont have to face it...

so..just wanna wish myself
a happy 17th birtday....

shes nt talking

2006-12-07T19:18:00.000+08:00

shes not talking to me..
not even a single word...
i dread going home...
just because of a stupid argument...
i hate myself...

even if she say something..
it will be because its neccessary to do so...
she will even look at me in the eye..
am i so detestable?
i really hate myself...

service learning

2006-12-06T12:39:00.000+08:00

it has been a LONG LONG time since i blog..
well its because there is nothing much going on in my life rite now..
when there is no sch...it sucks...
bt when there is sch...it sucks too..
so wat the heck..

anyway, i had to do this service learning thingy for two days..
went to this place called sunbeam at choa chu kang..
damn far...woke up quite early for that 2 days...
first day was late cos fizah was late...
ahahahaha..bangun lambat itupun dikejut by me...hahaha
so yeah was damn late...
but the second day was damn early...
to pay back for the day we were late....

im lazy to tell the whole story but i will jus write what i felt doing the whole thing...
when i first reach there, i expected the kids to be upper primary..
but no...there were lower primary and some are not even in primary sch...
so when i saw them...i was like...damn shit..small kids...OMG...
not dat i dun like kids, mind u...
but i do not really know how to mingle with them much...
sometimes i tink that kids do not like me..
im nt sure why myself..hahaha

so while trying to gather them around..it was hard..
they didnt listen..especially to me ah...
so i was like..oh man...this kids hate me..
kind of confirmed my suspicions...
bt as the day got on... i guess i wasnt that bad with kids...
some of them lah...
rani was the cutest there..shes small and sweet..
played around with her..
and there were little devils too...
like ming zheng...the hellboy...hahahaha
there was xavier and lay teng and elvin...
it was fun hanging out with them...at times..
but they can be a real headache...well kids generally are a headache...hahaha

but i realise that all these kids want is someone to be them for them...
to hold their hands and guide them..
when lay teng was with me...she kept holding my hand close to her..
when she sat on my lap...she makes sure that shes holding my hand...
on the last day, when we were going home.. ming zheng came up to me and hug me...
and asked whether we are coming tmr..
i said no... and it broke my heart cos like they were expecting us to come again...
its just so sad...felt like crying but tahan ah... paisey sey kalau org nampak..ahahahah
and there was yi bin.. mark's boy...
hes damn cute..
and i finally got to carry him...
even though it was for awhile but it was nice dat he allowed me to carry him
cos he only liked mark...hahaaha

so yeah.. it was a great experience...
to really be with these kids..
have another event coming up..
hope that it will be a success as well..

*adios*

mistakes

2006-11-23T18:30:00.000+08:00

sometimes, the reason we argue is not even because of me...
it all about her..
yeah, i know shes made some mistakes..
i know u want to talk..
but wat can i do...
i cannot give u anything..not even an assurance..
because the truth is my life is not about solving other's people problem...

for goodness sake im going to be 17..
im suppose to enjoy life right...not come up with something to solve problems
yeah im mature now..at 17 i should be learning about life mistakes..
but why, why does she worry that i will make that same mistakes..
i learnt from her mistakes..
i have seen what those mistakes have done...

everyday, i promise myself taht i will never be like her...
never hurt the ones i love..
maybe dats y i feel different...

*adios*

SOMEBODY SAVE ME!

2006-11-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

today, in the morning went out to do some math hwk..
then went to lib to get some books...
then met up wif sis and we jalan2 abit..gt some vcds and went home
at night went jogging and watched 2 movies...

gosh..my sentence are so boring..
i feel like im writing a primary school compo..
so yeah..basically..im VERY bored...
so bored that i sometimes i cant sleep..
probably due to lack of activities...
haiz....i tink school isnt such a bad idea after all....
maybe the fun part and ur friends are the best part of school..
acadmically...i prefer to skip it hahaha...

ok...i tink im talking crap...cos im bored...
hmm...and one tree hill is running out of videos..
so i dun frequent utube as much...
OH! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!

*adios*

yesterday..was another fulfilled day...

2006-11-17T21:12:00.000+08:00

there was only one word to describe yesterday: FUN!
hahahaha..met up wif fizah and adilah...
went to ramenten and had lunch..
dilah and fizah kind of ordered to much sushi and we also had the set meal...
so was very very kenyang...

then jalan2 at junction 8.
around 6 plus we went home...
i took the bus cos it leads straight to the bus stop near home...
although the journey was long.. bt i kind of like riding the bus...
boleh khayal...
hahaha
fiz hates riding buses..
which is a bit weird...so she took the mrt home...
hahahah...

rite now im bored...
so i guess utube will be my destination!

*adios*

update again...

2006-11-15T20:23:00.000+08:00

well...its been awhile since i updated...
not that i didnt want..mind you...
but i had nothing to talk abt..
life has been boring enough and i didnt want to put the boring details in here...
all i have done this week is doing the interact board..and slacking round at any fast food restaurant with fizah..
now that is fun cause we talked crap and laugh and all..hahaha

but then when i get home..i got bored and all i ever do now is go to utube watch anything that is worth watching...
mostly is my favourite drama ONE TREE HILL..
hahaha..
man..chad micheal murray is DAMN HOT!! ahahaha
haiz...its just so nice to feast your eyes on him...
well there is this one episode where there is a quote and i really2 like it..
Quote:

at this moment, there are six million, four hundred and seventy million,

eight hundred and eighteen thousand,six hundred and seventy one people in the world.

some are running scared.

some are coming home.

some tell lies to make it through the day.

others are just now facing the truth.

some are evil men, at war with good.

and some are good, struggling with evil.

six billion people in the world.

six billion souls.

but sometimes,

all you need is one.

this is a nice quote..
and i kind of believe in it..
no matter what happens
no matter what people do or say to you..
what we need is just someone who listens and give a shoulder for us to cry on..
there are others who are lucky..they have got more than 1 person for them to depend on..
i believe im lucky...cause i have the greatest family and friends in the world..
im really proud to have them in my life..
there are times when i wish these same people will leave me alone..
but i know if that were to happen, i dont think i can survive..
i am what i am because of the people around me..
life is never perfect and it will never be...
but i know that come what may..there will always be people to support me..
and i thank these very souls who have been there for me..
thank u soo much..

wah..i suddenly feel very philosophical...
hahahaa...

*adios*

%^%&%$@#%&

2006-11-10T11:12:00.000+08:00

ok...today is going to be a f***ed up day....

OP..HAIYO..

2006-11-09T20:43:00.000+08:00

today was the day...
the day for OP...
went to sch at 10...
met with the rest and we rehearsed here and there..
then waited until 3 for our turn which was freaking long..
then our presentation..
for me the presentation was ok...
then came the Q n A and that destryed everything..

re - enactment:

Examiner 1: ok, fadhilah...wat can u do to encourage these people to go for the seminars?

Me: umm... (stood there like an idiot for 2 mins)..sorry..umm

Examiner 2: wat other measures that can u take?

Me:(in my head) shit.. wat a qn..coudnt she ask smthg else..f***...wat to say?! wats dat thing we say wen people get smthg?? damn wat it is???(out loud) oh.. to encourage people they will get smthg if they come, like free sample of cloth bags

Examiner 1: ok, why then pri 1, i mean they are young...

Me: well, singapore's education is fast paced.. at pri 1 they are learning eng, math and science..so tehy also learn abt the 3Rs. Reduce, Reuse and Recycle.. so this can be incorporated by making it simple enough for them to understand..

Examiner 1: Ok.. next younquan...

GONE!!! GG!!

I totally screwed up my Q n A...

like shit ah...

haiz.. so disappointed...

then to celebrate our post pw..

the whole grp went to watch movie..

so difficult to choose the movie...

grudge 2 and the guardian - i watched..

daph wanted to watch a gd year..

aruna and yq wanted to watch the covenant

wilbur nt even sure wanted to watch any movies...

tossed a coin and aruna won...

so covenant it is...

den wilbur said watching it tmrw...

so he didnt want to go wif us...

after much arguing..

we finally.. i really mean finally.. we decided to watch step up...

the movie was quite nice actually... nice dance move...

really enjoyed it...

to whoever who likes to watch dance movie..better catch this one!

we walked around and finally went home..

so tired...tmrw gonna be busy helping mum...

mak is coming over..

yeah!

now im feeling better..

oh well.. op is over...watever happen has happened...

never cry over spilled milk...

*adios*

Ok!

2006-11-06T20:20:00.000+08:00

for the start of the week.. it was actually going great..
met fizah and we hang out together...
it was nice after wat happened yesternight...
felt like everything back to ok again...
then we had trouble trying to figure out wat movie to watch..

in the end we watched grudge 2..
which i haf to say was a waste of time...
it was kind of complicated and i only realise what the whole movie was about in the end..
and the scary part is jus shocking...not fun at all... didnt really scared me...
haiyo..they should come up with a better movie...

gt to do pw tmrw...kind of lazy but no choice...
hahah
hope you people haf fun jalan raye bsok...

*adios*

sad day...

2006-11-06T10:08:00.000+08:00

Everything was ok....
until i pisses someone off..
actually, it was never my intention..
i was upset as well...
i mean i didnt have a choice...
if i didnt go, i will be left behind and to change the date to wed, means that i have only that wed to practice...
which is ridiculous since i kinda sucked...

bt the treatment that i got was painful..
i understand her anger...disappoinment..but i felt those too...
she could have said smthg consoling while i was apologising profusely...
but no...msg ignored..
but there was a msg...which i felt was nice of her.. but still i could sense her dissatisfaction..
it always make me feel im always the one in the wrong..
what now?
haiz....
i hope things will be alrite..
dun becos of small issues..things change..
i hate to argue with her..
i really do..

*hepless*

UPdate!

2006-11-05T12:30:00.000+08:00

Helloooo!!!!hahaha..its been a while since i updated this thing...
wait... its been a loooonnnggg time...hahaa..maklumlah hari raya...so busy keluar...
well things have been okay.. i guess.. nothing that have gotten me so upset or happy...
but things are okay...jus finished a level mt paper last friday..
its was ok i guess.. but then i dont want to put too much high hopes
becos life has a way of surprising you...

den today, in late morning went to sofi's house to jalan raye..t
here were only 3 of us... fiza,sofi and me..pathetic? ya.. a bit...
hahahah after that we went to ms rafidah's house..
it was nice... i have always loved her house...so we ate and talked and laughed...
it was like old times...den to accompany dear fizah..
we took taxi and send her to her aunt's house before we stopped at bedok interchange..
well, actually she sent us since she paid for the ride...hahahaha
and fiz... i had to tambah only 10 cents...kwangz....

and now im waiting for some family members to come...
which is starting to piss me off...telefon siang2 pastu ckp nk datang
but tk sampai2...sometimes i feel like raye ni is kind of a waste of time...
i mean raye is wen kite bermaafan but there will always be people who piss u off and make u angry...
so in the end actually..u minta maaf and then make mistakes..so as u can see..its neverending..
kk.. now i gtg.. dorang da sampai..
and yeah.. fiz..i updated! :)

*adios*

sundaaayyyy...

2006-10-22T21:28:00.000+08:00

today woke up at 12..hahaha damn late ah...
slept at 2 last nite finishing the sue walker book...it was very good story..and i kind of suspected that it might be him committing the murders..

so yeah woke and clean the house a bit..
then went to do my i and r....
at 2 plus got ready to mee daph, aruna,wilbur and yongquan for pw...
after being given directions to wilbur's house..left at 3 plus...

i thought i was lost at first but realise that i was on the right track...
reaching nearer to his house, gave him a call and he met me and daph..yq was already there...
then we talked abit and a while later aruna came...
we did a bit of pw and then we side tracked..
invaded wilbur's privacy by going through his pics at friendster and making fun of him...hahahaha
he was trying to make us stop but obviously we didnt..
then we did the same thing to yq...
finally we stopped and got back to pw...

then after summarising and sending it to yq..
aruna and yq played games...
i was jus looking at them playing...
daph was rummaging thru wilbur's stuff and wilbur was practically shouting for her to stop...
hahahah..damn noisy those two...
so yeah that went on till 6 plus..then me and yq went home while daph and aruna stayed back to continue playing...

i was practically rushing home to buke and mum wasnt back yet...
gi geylang beli baju dad and brother...
then after we prayed and now here im blogging...
oh yeah got a pretty bad news...
sis.mum and my baju raye maseh blum siap...hahaha
wat the hell.. tues dah nk raye and she still haven complete...HEGE SEY!!!
she is mum's fren so mum tak bleh ckp pape..
so lets jus wait and see whether baju siap by tmr...if not tak raye lah agaknye...hahahah

*adios*

my day..

2006-10-18T17:07:00.000+08:00

we are FINALLY done with written report..
one headache gone..
but now is the pressure on OP...
well, my group can make it...
i believe in my group.. YEAH!!

..

so...today was fairly an ok day..

in the morning we were like rushing to print our wr and turning the whole report in for plagirism...

and then we are DONE...

after that we had no lessons throughout the day..

some teachers were busy with the j2s farewell assembly...

gosh! im gonna miss them...

wan,hafizah,eugene,darren,sammi and many others...hahahaha

after that was farewell assembly for our principal...
it was ok...i guess..
we wasted an hour waiting for the j2s..
but it was quite fun listening to yongquan's jokes..
hes quite funny ah...
i really think he should start a podcast...he can always come up with stupid jokes...hahahaha..
then we waited another 40 mins for pw...which was short...
saw the wr,comment a bit then off we go...back home..

tomorrow, no school...
hmm....what am i going to do?
the class might be going out..but i dun tink i can..
oh..wateva..
and ya...somebody will be busy cleaning the house tomorrow
rite fiz?
wahahahahaha..

*adios*

ok...

2006-10-17T20:59:00.000+08:00

well, finally got the overall results...
failed my econs and chem..
jus pass the rest...
i met the criteria of 2 h2 passes and 1 h1 pass...
Very bersyukur...

but somehow, when i hear other people's results, i feel like why didnt i do as well....
i mean the least i could do was to jus pass all...but i didnt and failed 2 subjects...
thats why i didnt ask anyobe their results...
i didnt want to feel ungrateful...

but that afternoon...it kind of change..
mum went into my room and casually mention that my cousin who unfortunately is in the same school did extemely better than me...
she didnt rub it in....
which i have to say was very nice of her as she used to like to compare us...
so yeah..she jus said that..
but i could sense the disappoinment in her...
but she really tried hard not to show it...

i felt quite useless then...
and someone told me that i passed and that is smthg i should be very GRATEFUL.... and she old me to remember that..
which i have to say is very true...

thats basically what have happen this past few days...
to you...
jus because u pass everything doesnt mean now u can start preaching towards me...
u forget how u were before everything?
PRETENCIOUS CREEP.........

*adios*

consistency and attitude

2006-10-14T21:28:00.000+08:00

got back my results...
wasnt well done...
but improved from common test...
still it was not good enough for me...
but thanks to my one special teacher, i cleared it and met the criteria..
2 h2 passes and 1 h1 pass...
so insyallah i will be promoted...
but till i see it in black and white...
i wont feel too satisfied...

anyway, if i get to go J2..
i must haf these two words in my studies: CONSISTENCY and ATTITUDE
i must do my tutorials and pay attention in class...
apart from that i must also keep revising my work and not wait till the last minute...
i must always pesevere and my attitude towards my studies must be consistent..
basically i must keep mugging and not give up..
so yeah that is my new year resolutions...
i must try to get As and Bs or Cs...
i haf to..
and insyallah i will... if i work hard..
and i must work hard...
so lets all see whether im confirmed promoted or not...

*adios*

finally over...

2006-10-05T17:02:00.000+08:00

Promos is finally OVER!!!
im happy yet apprenhensive...
im glad yet worried...
i hope i can pass yet i tink i will fail...

i want to pass and go to j2...
i dun want to waste time...
i hope that i will pass...
insyallah.

this past few days, fizah mum n sis haf been my greatest motivators and source of hope...
i am really thankful for their support and presence of being there for me...
thanks alot guys....
whoa...i sound like im giving some kind of speech...hahahaha

rite now, im going to truly enjoy my holidays before i receive my papers back next week..
watever happens, i believe that i haf given my best shot...
and i believe that everything happens for a reason...
so once again...

PROMOS IS OVER!!!!!

stress of promos

2006-10-02T14:02:00.000+08:00

haiz....haiz...sigh.....and more sigh...

i noe this is the most depress way to start writing....bt i am feeling depress....
promos exams are here..and i really22222 want to pass...and go to j2...but somehow...i dun noe...
i dun tink i can make it but a part of me says i must make it...

chem paper today...i really studied hard not like common test but well, i guess i answered more qns dis time but then again, answering alots of questions doesnt guarantee u a pass....
u might answer alot of qns but u get all wrong...its useless....

mum says that sometimes even when we study real hard we may still fail...
because allah has already planned our life for us...
maybe failing now is bad but in the future,smthg good comes out of it...
but right now, i intend to make full use of my ability and perseverance to continue tO CONTINUE TO STUDY AND PASS MY PROMOS...
insyallah this will happen...

in this sacred month, i hope my doa dikabulkan...amin...

migraine

2006-09-22T11:08:00.000+08:00

yesterday fiz was sick so she didnt came to school..
before pw, i felt something was wrong..
my vission was a bit blurred..
then i started to get dizzy....

i was moody all the way...
even when yongquan bastard me, i didnt bastard him back...
so unlike of me..

the gp had to do groupwork nad my member was.... who else..
ryan and wilbur knew i was really sick and didnt disturb me as much...
but she kept coming closer and talk nonsense...
i even told her i wanted pease... a sign for her to shut up...
which she didnt get...obviously...
i was so pissed that i told wilbur to tell her to shut up..
damn...my head painful and there she is making it worse....

so yeah..went home straight..
didnt go for chem...
tak bleh tahan..
reached home..vomitted
took panadol and sleep..
woke up..feel so much worse..
i even cry...
the pain was unbearable...

mum took me to the doctor..
doc say its a bad case of migraine..
haiyo.. so young like this already got migraine....
tsk...tsk...
ok.. my head is still throbbing...
pain...pain

*adios*

MARK

2006-09-22T11:05:00.000+08:00

MARK CHAN SUX

MARK MAU FRIENDS....

SPECIALLLY FOR MARK...

HE WILL UNDERSTAND.......

japs pranks...

2006-09-18T17:09:00.000+08:00

yesterday, we watched this japanese toilet pranks...
it was damn funny and disgusting a bit..
but then after awhile i thought that the pranks were really mean...
i mean, imagine that u want to shit or pee and someone pulls a prank on u...causing u to look a bit indecent...
its really not nice and very rude...kind of invading someone's privacy...

but well, its for entertainment...even though i sort of enjoyed seeing the prank being pulled off...
i really hope that such thing won't happen to me..
oh and whenever u are going to use a toilet in japan: BEWARE!!
hahahaha..

okay today is the first day of the week...so was feeling a bit of monday blues...
but everything went on smoothly...
after mt waited for fatimah n verma to finish with their class...
i kept disturbing n distracting them...which is mean but i LIKE!!!
before going home, we went to the toilet where fatimah was, how shall i say..drenched?
noo....thats too strong a word...well little bit wet cos it was raining in the toilet...
obviously done by me.....splashed water on her while she was in the cubicle...hahahahaha...

den apparently she wanted to avenge herself bt she accidentally splashed fiz with water instead...hahaha....
bewerkoof... i tink the spelling is wrong bt its suppose to mean stupid or idiot in hindi..
hehehehe

*adios*

do this together!

2006-09-16T19:08:00.000+08:00

ok...
its been a while since i blog..
well its sooo like me...hahaha
so basically everyone is stressing up about the promos..
nowadays, im really wondering whether i can make it...
i noe i haf to..
i cant afford to waste my time...
so i must focus..
focus...focus..and focus...
n fiz...lets do this together!

*adios*

haiz..............

2006-09-14T16:55:00.000+08:00

im tired.... very2 tired...
but i need to mug...mug...mug..
so dilah start mugging!
2 weeks of depression
2 weeks of torture
a month of apprehension
hopefully 2 months of pure happiness....
haiz......

enjoyed myself...

2006-09-08T17:54:00.000+08:00

today... we had chem test..
had it to make us start studying fpr promos...
in a way..well it did make me study..but not very hard...hahaha
so chem test in the morning..
did noe whether i fail or pass cos i wasn bothered to mark it..
but i tink i fail...oh well..this means i got to pull up my socks!

after that we had maths...actually it was a remedial..but only me and fixah turned up...
mrs sze was pretty upset with the class..
they walked past her and no one even bothered to say they are not coming...
this was the first time that i see mrs sze VERY upset..
so me and fis was kind of uncertain..
then the lesson started and everything went fine..
it was fun actually to have mrs sze all to ourselves..
but yeah we had to share with another 2 students...
one of them pretty CUTE! hahaha...

after maths, fiz and me went to fofular...to buy stuffs for the i.c board...
it was fun and felt like old times...
hahaha
really enjoyed myself today...
oh and we met gabe!
haha..miss that bro of mine....
then we went home...
later going out soon...to break fast..kakak blanje...
free meal..i LIKE!

:)

2006-09-07T12:37:00.000+08:00

Love ya...sis...

sorry

2006-09-05T17:17:00.000+08:00

i tot that we are great...
we are happy...on the surface it seemed that way...
but deep down...
i didnt know that...
i tried to understand..and give my support...
somehow it was never enough...
made me feel like im the one making problems..
like i am the one who gets all the good stuffs...
see me like i have no problems...
im always the happy go lucky one...
do u really think so?
do u even try to understand me?
do i always have to be the one to change?
all i want for us is to be good and happy...
n now im wondering whether its ever going to be the same again...
im sorry...really sorry if i make u feel that way..
maybe its the way and situation where i was brought up that make me the way im..
im sorry............

more teachers' day pics

2006-09-01T11:34:00.000+08:00

picture of the day!! sharon putting her hand around fatimah... me and aruna
me and fizah, my best friend
those going for the rally...except for the guy behind
me and kenneth again
kenneth and wei zheng trying to look 'cool'
me and kenneth who is wearing his blazerkenneth trying to look cool

i tink.

teachers's day celebration

2006-08-31T17:02:00.001+08:00

teachers' day celebrations was a blast..

at first the concert was ok..but when the teachers start performing...

now thats when the fun starts to come in..

haha...

their performance were cool and great

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!!!!

here are some pics we took...

i know it now!

2006-08-30T19:41:00.000+08:00

despite sleeping at 2 plus yesterday nite, i wasnt a wreck i tot i would be...
hahaha... so yeah didnt really fall asleep in class..
especially chem lecture..
wat a surprise..
proud of myself though....hehehehe

so we had our gp presentation..
which was a last minute kind of thing... i did the powerpoint all by myself with the help from fizah of course...
thanks gerl!
so yea did the custom animation and all and proud to say.. i am now an officially IT literate for ppt presentation...
YES!!
i used to be so dumb in using ppt presentation but not anymore!

our presentation was abit boring cos the topic was kind of dry...
but yeah its finally done and over!!
we were supposed to have chem remedial but got cancelled...
before heading back home, we all slacked around and watch kenneth's video...
damn cute ah...

hahaha... reached home and sleep..
very tired..
oh and my sept hols is gone!!
i knew that long ago but it still hurts to noe im not going to enjoy myself..
hahahah
most of the days have classes...
but its ok!
i MUST work hard...
BUCK UP fadh!!!

oh and HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY to all the teachers in tpss and tpjc..
love you guys!!

*adios*

;)

2006-08-29T17:20:00.000+08:00

i feel quite happy today...
that person say i did quite a good job..
for once i felt appreciated in that place..
thanks for me making me feel less useless...

yeah, i noe i haf not been updating regulary..
sorry been very busy..
TEACHERS' DAY IS COMING...
i want to go back tpss but not sure whether i can make...
well hope i can and cant wait to see all my frens..
dat is, if im going back...

kk... i really need to do my presentation

*adios*

maths remedial...

2006-08-25T18:23:00.000+08:00

hellloooo!!!!
i noe its been awhile since i last blogged...
n im pretty sure fizah has a lot of comments abt that...hahaha

anyway, been busy with pw and other kind of projects..
so yeah it has been quite hectic..

still trying to get started on my revision and all..
i cant believe promos in a few weeks time...
so dilah...jiayou!
and the rest too...
we all can do it..

so today, again went for maths remedial...
actually wanted to skip it but felt guilty...
both wilbur and me was indecisive..
den mark chan says hes going..
so i tot well ok...jus go..
wilbur finally decided not go...

we did graphing techniques...
and all 3 hrs... i had to endure mark's stupid jokes and racist comments..
but it was funny...sometimes..
n wenever he makes a racist comments i will jus ignore him...
then he will say: eh laugh ah..
n i told him if he says something stupid i will jus shut him out or shut him up..

with mark, i had to endure being beaten and hear him cursing CB..
whereas with wilbur i have to hear him saying bastard all the time...and keep saying whether i paisey or not..or whether it matters or not..

so yeah, as u can see, my maths remedial is full of vulgarities..hahaha
funny at times....
so im wondering how it will be if both of them come together next week...
i have a bad feeling...........

hahaha...

*adios*

i dislike you

2006-08-22T20:23:00.000+08:00

i feel so useless at times...
i mean.. i tried my best..
n dats all i can come up with...
that person dun haf the right to put me down like dat...
if he or she wants the best then go do it urself..
we are suppose to support each other but u're such an *&%^%$^&...

im hurt... very very hurt
but u know wat..i am not going to give a damn..
there are others who support me and dun jus put me down like dat...
thanks to the people out there...
i really appreciate u guys...

oh and hafidz please dun cover ur mouth wen answering questions...
WAHAHAHAHAHA....

*adios*

no title...

2006-08-19T12:43:00.000+08:00

ok....jus reached home from sch..
had economics test..
which i tink i screw up...
haiz... i seriously suck at econs..
oh watever, its done and over...
no use crying over spilt milk...

ok lets talk about some happy stuffs..
hmm let me see...
hmmm....
hmmm....
ummm...
ummmm......
wait a min...i dun haf any happy stuffs...
hahahaha...

actually nolah...
yesterday i had this maths learning thingy for weak students like me...
so me and wilbur went and it was ok...
very tiring becos the qns keep repeating...
hahaha.. wilbur was irritated and he keep using vulgarities...
hahaha..
and the teacher sucks..
explain like he himself not sure...
but hey... an achievement, i completed the qns and know why the solution is like dat...
so yeah! Keep it ah dilah!!!!

*adios*

I CAN DO IT!!

2006-08-17T19:39:00.000+08:00

ok... i give up..
its not dat i didnt want to update my blog or i was too lazy..... but it is becos this stupid thing just wont upload my pics..
so yea it turns me off so i ended up not updating...
but i am blogging rite now cos i really need to express myself or i will explode...

promos in a few weeks time...
and i kind of starting to study..
i am a last minute kind of person but i realised that in jc, there is no such thing as last minute...
u got to study, study and study only then will u make it...
so im kind of starting to study right now...
but sometimes i feel that i am not doing enough...
or i plan to study but end up not doing becos im busy studying for tests which in my opinion should not be having rite now..
we should be focusing more on the promos...

and i SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY need help with my studies...
i always have problems in my studies and am not doing well...
so can somebody help me.?
PLEASEEEEEEE.......................................

pressured
tired
choked up
dats how i feel...

FADHILAH MUST STUDY STUDY!!!!!!!
I CAN DO THIS!!
YES I CAN!
ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!
MUST GET 2H2 AND 1 H1 PASSES!!!!!
I WILL DO IT!!!
I CAN DO IT!!!
I MUST DO IT!!!
YEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*adios*

bbq pics...

2006-08-13T12:32:00.000+08:00

more pics as promised...

bbq

2006-08-12T11:38:00.000+08:00

more pics coming up...

yesterday, the class had bbq at pasir ris park..
went with fatimah and she was VERY late..
so when she came she was apologising profusely..

after praying, we rushed to the pit..
when we reached, aruna, mark,kiwi,daphne,ryan,wilbur,mj,yongquan, pei xuan,ms lim,ms chua and sharon were already there...
reached there, talk and joke with them..
and we ate, though i didnt eat much...cos i was kinda full...
and we took quite a number of pics...

and on the way back, ms chua sent us to pasir ris mrt..
saw her husband... nice guy... hahaha
anyway thanks for the ride once again..

eve of national day..

2006-08-09T12:27:00.000+08:00

yesterday, after school met up wif mum..
had something to eat then we went home..
the rest of the class went to watch movie - click..
cldnt come along as i was damn damn broke...

reached home and start to upload the pics...
cleaned the house here and there while sis made me check timings for the movie we wanna watch...
while waiting for her reply, fell asleep until 6..
then sis came home and she checked some more
finally a 915 show at bedok the princess theater...
it was a damn budget cinema..hahaha
the tix as only 5 bucks..

we were kind of early so we jus hang out around bedok for a while...
then we made our way to the cinema..
as soon as i entered in the cinema, i tot i was in the 50s and 60s...
hahaha..damn old..
and the chairs made me feel like i was in johor..
movie started and all and i saw many loners...
then, in the middle of it, the movie just died off..
then got this whrring.... sound and the movie is back on..
hahaha...
really made me feel we are in the sixties..

then the movie ended...it was a really nice show..
very touching..
so yeah when it ended, went back home...
THE LAKE HOUSE ROCKS!!
hehehe..

*adios*

National Day celebration

2006-08-08T12:53:00.000+08:00

Today is the eve of National Day celebrations..

here are some pics that we took ..

It was ok, i guess the celebrations..

Last part where we sang..hahaha..look very patriotic...

samuel,me and teng kuang
hafidz and me
kennneth and samuel
kenneth and me
yongquan and me
yongquan and kenneth
alicia,fizah,kian hwee,alex
ryan and me
mei juan and pei xuan

PICS

2006-08-07T20:24:00.000+08:00

heres all the pics..hahaha
theres a repeat.. i oso dun noe why...hehehe

Installation

2006-08-07T19:39:00.000+08:00

As you all know, been busy these past week preparing for installation, thus i wasnt able to blog... and partly i was kind of lazy too...hahaha
so fizah has been pestering me to update saying da belapoklah...
so installation went on smoothly on 5th August 2006...
except for the part that goh came earlier than expected, everything was fine..

i was really surprised that goh came early..
i tot fizah was kidding me when she said that goh has arrived..
then i saw her smiling2 looking at the pictures outside..
made a remark to my fellow exco..
siak ah, shes the first goh that came early... not bad...
started to like her... i dislike it wen people made me wait..
as it is i was born to be waited by other people not to wait for other..wahahahaha
action sey fadh...
but again my life principle is ' hidup mesti action'...hehehehehe

so yeah.. i was doing ushering in the lt... then ms lim came and gave me sweet..yey!
hahah.. lim peh was there and some other guests came..
first part as usual boring... speeches here and there...
then came sammies video and presentation..
it was very touching ....
i felt like crying... i get emotional when it comes to things like this..
so yeah i was dabbing at the corners of my eyes daring myself not too cry..
luckily the lt was dark... so i dun tink anyone saw me...hahas

we were then installed and we gave them a common present which is a flower apart from our own gift...
and i saw zhi yuan smelling the flower...which has no smell...haha funny guy...
then our presentation and performances...
which the j2s gave a standing ovation..
i forgot some steps but it was ok i guess...
hahas..as long as the j2s like it then.. yeah its nice...
we had a grand finale where we sang a friends forever song..
we didnt rehearse and the only part we knew was the chorus...
so we sang loudly during the chorus and went lalalalala for the rest of the song..
during refreshment we had lots and lots of phototaking..hahahas

it was very nice and i really wished that it wld stay that way..
so after cleaning up, wz treat us to bubbletea.. and we yam seng infront of the shop loudly...
eugene came and told us mr chew is treating bith the j1s and j2s...whee!! free meal..
off we went to kampong eden..
the j1s didnt order much cos we were quite full thanks to the bubble tea...
the j2s had steamboat and craps all...

by the time we finished eating,they were still enjoying the meal...
to keep ourselves entertained, we crack jokes and even sang in PUBLIC...
everyone was staring bt we dun give a damn....
we then played a game where losers has to drink a cup full of ice water..
i lost.twice.
so at the end of it i was bloated ah...

after the meal, the j2s went to karaoke while j1s took neoprints...
there were 13 of us so jus imagine how we fit into the machine...
mum already calling2 asking when i will be home so as soon as neoprint was over, i made my way home..

it was really fun and i wished it didnt have to end..
bt every beginning has an end...
all the times that we had, will only become memories...

so to all that have helped in one way or other thanks for making the installation a success..
especially dean our mc and tk our IT guy
Thanks alot!

*adios*

tired but excited

2006-08-01T19:35:00.000+08:00

this week is going to be a very hectic one because installation is next week...
very very tired.. gonna have to stay back late every day..
but i tink its worthwhile...hahaha
anyway i cant really say much about the planning and stuff because wan might read this..
and i dun want him to know anything yet..hehehehe
bt it has been fun but stressful at times...

i feel that i have been very selfish to someone...
i want that person to do things for me and with me even though it will be very late...
and that someone will always do it..
but me.. i am always worried that mum might be upset that im always home late..and i end up not helping that person...
what must i do?
im really really sorry...
i know i am selfish and will try to accomodate...
really sorry...

need to do pw..argh!!!

*adios*

wat a day..

2006-07-29T19:56:00.000+08:00

yesterday i was sooo.. tired that i didnt blog..
anyway went to rjc for their installation.. its pretty cool i have to say.
got home nearing 11...
their lt was big and very2 nice..
have a working aircon...and well the thing that frustrate me the most is the fact that members of the club can come together and show the spirit of enthusiasm..
unlike the one in sch...haiz.. i cant even get them to come for the meetings...
its really a headache...

went with fizah and wz...
actually it was suppose to be me and wz only... and i was very depressed by that thought..
so my very nice darling fiz say she will also follow despite the fact she haven finish her eom and stuffs..
im really really touched and happy u went..
meant alot to me
thanks fiz!

this morning woke up at 1030...
sweep the floor then watch tv...
after that got ready to go blaja...
and then after blaja went to eat..
now im back home and going to do my hwk soon...

*adios*

wat a nong..nong.. day

2006-07-27T20:10:00.000+08:00

yesterday went to sleep late.. like one plus like dat..
the next morning... a total wreck, cant even open my eyes...
im not used to sleeping very late.. .so yeah i was kind of a mess..
anyway first period we had this guy,eric who came to sch and talked about managing stress..
oh... and hes cute..quite cute..hahaha..but married..
too bad...

so we did this test to show what kind of personality we have..
im in the influence category..
this mean im friendly,outgoing,emotional,enthusiastic and sociable..
goal:people of recognition,approval
motivation:interaction
how i release stress is by talking to others and i like to hear verbal encouragement from friends..
so that basically what i am in this test..
and its kinda true as i like to talk to fiz if i dont feel happy with stuffs or anyting..
i also like to be recognized for something and approval from others is very important to me
like when i go shopping... i but stuffs only when people say its nice and all..
so i feel that this thing is quite true..

later in the day we had pw..
it was one of the worst lessons...
seems that dapne didnt print her source and aruna didnt bring hers..
so ms cheng was shouting at us saying we are irresponsible people and all the crap
she then came to my group and we were sort of pretending we had the stuffs and all
then she asked a question and before yongquan could finish answering she asked another question again..and the same thing happen...
for the first time he could not answer her back..and i thought he looked piss...

then stayed back to do the banner like until 630..
was supposed to go for chem remedial but no one i knew went and i was actually late
so kind of paisey to masuk lambat... so continue with the banner...
teng kuang,alex,ann chi,seng juong and jinghuang stayed back to the banner...
it was ok.. i guess the banner.. jus a bit of pasting mistake here and there.. but overall i tink its kind of ok..
what i need now is fizah's approval tmrw..
and thanks alot to those who stayed back today...
THANK YOU SO MUCH.....

*adios*

where oh where can my baby be....

2006-07-26T18:45:00.000+08:00

reached home around six... had some interact stuff to do... banner actually... this is like my first time doing a very important banner and to tell the truth i suck at it...
i have a feeling that fizah is not too happy about the way im handling the banner thingy...
im so sorry... i sincerely apologise and promise that i will do the best to my abilities which i noe and u noe its rather adequate..... sorry once again...

Oh where oh were could my baby be

The lord took her away from me

She's gone to heaven so I've got to be good

So I can see my baby when I'll leave this world

We were out on a date in my daddy's car

We hadn't driven very far

There in the road

Straight ahead

A car was stalled the engine was dead

I couldn't stop

So I swerved to the right

I'll never forget the sound that night

The screamin tires

The busting glass

The Painfull scream that I heard last.

Oh where oh were could my baby be

The lord took her away from me

She's gone to heaven so I've got to be good

So I can see my baby when I'll leave this world

When I woke up

The rain was pouring down

There were people standing all aroundSomething warm falling into my eyes

But some how I found my baby that night

I lifted her head

she looked at me and said

Hold me darling just alittle while

I held her close

I kissed her our last kiss

I found the love I knew I had missed

but now she's gone

even though I hold her tigh

tI lost my love, my life that night

Oh where oh were could my baby be

The lord took her away from me

She's gone to heaven so I've got to be good

So I can see my baby when I leave this world

this is like my fav song right now..
such touching lyrics..
that i feel jus so sad listening to the song...
a real classic..........

*adios*

taxi!!

2006-07-24T21:13:00.000+08:00

today was fun..and more fun! hahha
we finished sch at 12.10..
then went home for a while to prepare for dragonboat...
den on the way there..met with the others and we went off together..
reach that we crap alot ah.. the guys were a crazy bunch... we then had our dragonboat race which we came in third.. dun tink we are good but because they were only four classes..hahhaa
but overall... we lost.. so sad...

after the whole thing ended...we went to kfc and had dinner....
then me,mark fiz and aruna took taxi home..
told mark there will be $2 surcharge but he says no..dats only until 7..
i sat at the front...
dun noe why they all dun want to sit in front...
as soon as i got in i saw that there is a $2 surcharge and pointed to mark..
fiz was already laughing and mark showed his dumb dog face..hahahaha
anyway at the back..fiz and aruna keep disturbing mark about him being a dog and stuff...
it was noisy but very funny..hahaha
really had a great time and wish that we will have more of such outings...hehehehe

*adios*

todays happenings..

2006-07-22T22:31:00.000+08:00

22rd july 2006

today.. i slacked.. alot..seriousy no mood to study much.. watched tv and sleep...haha
pemalas sey me...
was supposed to go for the co concert...i felt lazy to go...again no mood to go out...
then fizah msg me saying she cant go...i was like very very cool with..haha
me,myself didnt want to go...so kind of relieved..hehehehe

then mum came home and ajak go ntuc...angkat belanje..
after buying the stuffs...we went to the kedai mkn...
on the way there, sis called..say she no key and no one was at home.. so she had to come down to the coffee shop...
sampai kat coffee shop we thought kedai tutup because it was dark...
then we saw many people kat luar...we went nearer...and realise that the coffee shop wasnt close but blackout...wahaha
we still sat down cos mum was tired..
debating whether we wanted to stay there..
i mean how the hell are we suppose to eat in the dark and how are the people suppose to get the food ready...
luckily, the electricity soon came on..and we sat and ordered the food..
oh and bfore all this, on the way to ntuc,we met with this stupid and crazy dog..
mum and me were minding our own business and walking and this dog started to bark at us and trying to go after us..terperanjat sey sekejap...
macam nak tendang the stupid,crazy bloody dog..
if my nenek was there she would say :ah..dier bawak mak dier punya laki jalan!...
hahahaha...
shes really fierce dat grandma of mine..
enough said... i want to watch tv..

*adios*